Monday, January 31, 2005


After this weekend I feel much better. Maybe I just needed some rest. Well, a break.

I worked on Saturday. It was tiring (and not any help for my aching lat muscle) but it was good to be away. It was also good to have Michael at home with the baby. I didn't feel guilty for leaving Connor with my parents again and Michael actually attempted to do some stuff around the house. The effort was appreciated... just one step closer to stuff actually getting done! Anyway, I ate really well at work. Normally it's very hard for me there. You would think a hospital would have a plethora of healthy food, but that's not the case. For breakfast I had a bowl of Smart Start with skim milk and for lunch I had a big old salad. Boy were the biscuits and grill calling though. I was surprised at how easy it actually was to ignore my "cravings". I just decided before I got down there what I would eat. There was none of the, "What do it feel like," that I normally do. Just think about it. For an emotional eater, that phrase has enormous meaning. Plan ahead. I need to get better at that.

Sunday was a good day. I did the offertory at church for both services. It went better than ever before. I sounded clear and my nerves didn't take hold of me (too much). If you're singing, it really sucks when the effects of nerves are your throat spontaneously spasming and not being able to breathe. There was no spasming and I was only a little breathless. We did the normal lunch thing and I actually felt included in the adult conversation. I got to read for a little while at mom and dad's. Then dad watched Connor while I went to a Stampin' Up party. Tracey time! It was nice. More adult conversation with other moms. That was good. I didn't eat great, but I didn't snack at the party and I resisted the Mocha Caramel 10,000 calorie really good smelling caffeinated coffee. I felt good about "being strong". Now I just need to figure out what I can eat at the Mexican restaurant!

Today Connor and I are going to an awards ceremony. They are giving Michael his sailor of the year thing today. Yay! Maybe he'll get to come home afterward... that would be nice!

Well, I thought I would share my favorite verse. It always gives me hope and makes me calm when I'm freaking out.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

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