A bit sad right now.
I'm not 18 weeks pregnant. I'm not beginning to feel a baby.
I thought I felt better, but right now it's all new again. I stumbled across another woman's blog... she had a miscarriage recently as well. She wrote what she was feeling. How one minute she was pregnant and then she wasn't. How she dreads her period and what it means. How the thought of a positive pregnancy test is so scary... what if it happens again? Yup... I'm right there.
I've been thinking all these things and then just stuffing them deep into my mind. Can't deal with that now. Push it down. It will go away. But it doesn't. I'm angry and hurt. Right now I feel alone... like I'm the only one who knew the baby. Like to others it wasn't even there.
Sorry I'm so raw tonight. This too will pass, but I think I just had to write this.
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The place where Tracey lets loose... as much as she ever does!
About Me
- Tracey
- Washington, United States
- I'm a wife, mommy, and internet addict. Enjoy these glimpses of my life!
Links
- Tracey Stamps
- My Stampin' Up Website
- Stampin' Up!
- Groton Bible Chapel
- Thalia Lynn Baptist Church
- Camp Creek Blog
- Conversion Diary
- Glimpses of the Neals
- Home Sanctuary
- In Heywood's Meadow
- On The Down Low
- One Scrappy Gal
- One Thing
- Owlhaven
- The Pioneer Woman
- This Guy Falls Down
- Whittaker Woman
- 6YearMed (m.d.)
Blog Archive
Other Stuff
The 101 Things
Begin May 15, 2008
End February 10, 2011
Completed tasks
Personal
1) Reach size 12 and maintain it.
2) Go off line while at home for a week.
3) Complete 1 week at home with no TV.
4) Complete the Couch to 5K program at coolrunning.com.
5) Run a half marathon.
6) Throw a 30th birthday party for myself and HAVE FUN!
7) Wear makeup everyday for a week. (0/7)
8) Read the Bible.
9) Complete a Bible study/devotion book.
10) Splurge on a fabulous pair of shoes.
11) Register to vote.
12) Make a will.
13) Learn 3 yoga vinyasa (Sun Salutation, Triangle/Warrior II, Great Salutation).
14) Make 5 new friends. (0/5)
15) Be physical/workout twice a week. (0/286)
Family
16) Throw the kids totally cool birthday parties.
17) Get passports for the kids.
18) Have a date night every month. (0/31)
19) Go to a theme park with Michael.
20) Take each kid out alone for a "date" every 6 months.
21) Start holding "Family Night" themed dinners twice a month. (0/64)
22) Establish a daily homework time for Connor.
23) Sponsor a child through Compassion.
24) Make Gavin a gift.
25) Make decisions about adoption.
Household
26) Keep a shiny sink for 31 days. (2/31)
27) Plant a container garden (tomatoes!).
28) Eat at home for 2 weeks straight. (0/14)
29) Dispose of the old computer properly.
30) Make recipe cards for easy menu construction.
31) Clear off desk (meaning everything filed, shredded, and put away).
32) Get Clara's portrait framed and hung.
33) In the spring, put down broad leaf weed killer and fertilize the lawn.
34) Pack away extra linens in space bags.
35) Clean off the top of the fridge.
36) Weed out DVDs.
37) Weed out CDs.
38) Weed out the kids toys.
39) Add 10 recipes/meals to my cooking. (0/10)
40) Send out Christmas cards in time each year. (0/3)
41) Pair all of the socks and throw away the spares.
Professional
42) Earn the SU! incentive trip.
43) Get my artwork published in a book or magazine.
44) Retake my registry exam.
45) Run a successful fundraiser for charity.
46) Make back room able to function as a classroom.
47) Research teaching classes at the senior center.
48) Complete a Rosetta Stone language course.
49) Send 101 cards. (0/101)
50) Go 3 months without purchasing any SU! product except for items for specific classes twice.
51) Get started with Getting Things Done.
52) Enter for the SU! Artisan Award.
Adventures
53) Find 5 Geo caches. (0/5)
54) Visit Acadia National Park in Maine.
55) Watch the sunrise at Acadia National Park.
56) Touch the Pacific Ocean.
57) Go sailing/learn to sail.
58) Learn to rock climb.
59) Take the kids to visit natural caverns.
60) See the Grand Canyon.
61) Go to a NASCAR race with Michael.
62) Visit Disney again.
63) Go to a wine tasting.
64) Visit NYC with the kids.
65) Go to the opera.
Creativity/Art
66) Audition for a musical.
67) Take a dance class.
68) Outline a novel.
69) Write a song (don't be afraid to let it suck!).
70) Make an album of my important people.
71) Make a scrapbook of this process.
72) Take a picture for each goal.
73) Learn 5 songs on the piano.
74) Save for and purchase Vocal Coach Singer.
For Fun
75) Read 20 of Madeline L'Engle's books. (0/20)
76) Read The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis.
77) Read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis.
78) Reread the Mark of the Lion trilogy. (3/3)
79) Register at bookcrossing.com and release at least 10 books. (0/10)
80) Make mix CD of "adult" praise and worship music that is good for the kids.
81) Make non-annoying playlist of children's songs.
82) Join the Company Girls at Home Sanctuary.
83) Complete 90 days of Small Things challenges at Home Sanctuary.
84) Have my song reviewed by people who know about music.
85) To be determined
86) To be determined
87) To be determined
88) To be determined
89) To be determined
90) To be determined
91) To be determined
92) To be determined
93) To be determined
94) To be determined
95) To be determined
96) To be determined
97) To be determined
98) To be determined
99) Create list for next 1001 days.
100) Save $10 for every item completed on this list.
101) Donate $10 for every item not completed on this list.
End February 10, 2011
Completed tasks
Personal
1) Reach size 12 and maintain it.
2) Go off line while at home for a week.
3) Complete 1 week at home with no TV.
4) Complete the Couch to 5K program at coolrunning.com.
5) Run a half marathon.
6) Throw a 30th birthday party for myself and HAVE FUN!
7) Wear makeup everyday for a week. (0/7)
8) Read the Bible.
9) Complete a Bible study/devotion book.
10) Splurge on a fabulous pair of shoes.
11) Register to vote.
12) Make a will.
13) Learn 3 yoga vinyasa (Sun Salutation, Triangle/Warrior II, Great Salutation).
14) Make 5 new friends. (0/5)
15) Be physical/workout twice a week. (0/286)
Family
16) Throw the kids totally cool birthday parties.
17) Get passports for the kids.
18) Have a date night every month. (0/31)
19) Go to a theme park with Michael.
20) Take each kid out alone for a "date" every 6 months.
21) Start holding "Family Night" themed dinners twice a month. (0/64)
22) Establish a daily homework time for Connor.
23) Sponsor a child through Compassion.
24) Make Gavin a gift.
25) Make decisions about adoption.
Household
26) Keep a shiny sink for 31 days. (2/31)
27) Plant a container garden (tomatoes!).
28) Eat at home for 2 weeks straight. (0/14)
29) Dispose of the old computer properly.
30) Make recipe cards for easy menu construction.
31) Clear off desk (meaning everything filed, shredded, and put away).
32) Get Clara's portrait framed and hung.
33) In the spring, put down broad leaf weed killer and fertilize the lawn.
34) Pack away extra linens in space bags.
35) Clean off the top of the fridge.
36) Weed out DVDs.
37) Weed out CDs.
38) Weed out the kids toys.
39) Add 10 recipes/meals to my cooking. (0/10)
40) Send out Christmas cards in time each year. (0/3)
41) Pair all of the socks and throw away the spares.
Professional
42) Earn the SU! incentive trip.
43) Get my artwork published in a book or magazine.
44) Retake my registry exam.
45) Run a successful fundraiser for charity.
46) Make back room able to function as a classroom.
47) Research teaching classes at the senior center.
48) Complete a Rosetta Stone language course.
49) Send 101 cards. (0/101)
50) Go 3 months without purchasing any SU! product except for items for specific classes twice.
51) Get started with Getting Things Done.
52) Enter for the SU! Artisan Award.
Adventures
53) Find 5 Geo caches. (0/5)
54) Visit Acadia National Park in Maine.
55) Watch the sunrise at Acadia National Park.
56) Touch the Pacific Ocean.
57) Go sailing/learn to sail.
58) Learn to rock climb.
59) Take the kids to visit natural caverns.
60) See the Grand Canyon.
61) Go to a NASCAR race with Michael.
62) Visit Disney again.
63) Go to a wine tasting.
64) Visit NYC with the kids.
65) Go to the opera.
Creativity/Art
66) Audition for a musical.
67) Take a dance class.
68) Outline a novel.
69) Write a song (don't be afraid to let it suck!).
70) Make an album of my important people.
71) Make a scrapbook of this process.
72) Take a picture for each goal.
73) Learn 5 songs on the piano.
74) Save for and purchase Vocal Coach Singer.
For Fun
75) Read 20 of Madeline L'Engle's books. (0/20)
76) Read The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis.
77) Read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis.
78) Reread the Mark of the Lion trilogy. (3/3)
79) Register at bookcrossing.com and release at least 10 books. (0/10)
80) Make mix CD of "adult" praise and worship music that is good for the kids.
81) Make non-annoying playlist of children's songs.
82) Join the Company Girls at Home Sanctuary.
83) Complete 90 days of Small Things challenges at Home Sanctuary.
84) Have my song reviewed by people who know about music.
85) To be determined
86) To be determined
87) To be determined
88) To be determined
89) To be determined
90) To be determined
91) To be determined
92) To be determined
93) To be determined
94) To be determined
95) To be determined
96) To be determined
97) To be determined
98) To be determined
99) Create list for next 1001 days.
100) Save $10 for every item completed on this list.
101) Donate $10 for every item not completed on this list.
1 comment:
:-(
I just read this. Sending you HUGE hugs.
Next time you feel like that...pop on over. I've got brownies and a little traitor for you to squish.
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